You’re not alone.
I feel it, too.
The hurt, the pain, the agony. The fear, the loneliness, the sorrow.
The crippling weight of a shattered heart inside your chest. The vulnerability of a broken soul being dragged behind you.
Sometimes, the pain is too much to bear.
Sometimes, you can’t help but break down and cry.
I get it.
Maybe you were hurt. Maybe you were betrayed. Maybe you lost the only friend who knew how to mend your wounds.
I don’t know — and I won’t act like I know where your pain came from.
But what I do know is that your pain is real. It exists. And it influences every aspect of your life.
The good news?
It doesn’t have to be that way.
You don’t have to carry this pain forever.
There are ways you can transform your pain into something else.
And whether for yourself or someone else, your pain can become a beacon of light that guides those lost to a land of hope and healing.
Your pain can become a source of power you’re proud of.
Here are 5 ways to alchemize emotional pain into hope, happiness and love:
1) Unleash the screaming artist within
On April 26th, 2019, myself, my wife, and our two-year-old daughter said goodbye to our beautiful husky and loving companion, Payton.
She was — and in many ways, still is — the heart of our family.
It was a pain I never expected to bear.
I knew losing a friend would be a hard — but I was surprised how much I actually grieved her. And it was immensely harder for my wife, who lost not only her sweet little puppy, but also her best friend and lifelong soulmate.
I can’t help but cry as I write this.
Anyway, not long passed before I was compelled to write a song about her. Actually, it was a song I was writing for a while, but I never quite knew how to finish it. With Payton’s passing, it became clear the song was always for her.
So I wrote the final verse and completed it — it’s called Heart of our Family.
To this day, I can hardly make it through the song. I always get to a point where the words just fumble out of my mouth as I try to sing through a veil of tears. But I feel her every time. It’s raw, it’s powerful, and it’s real.
I took that pain and I made it into something else.
I made it into a song that I’ll carry with me forever — a song I can sing whenever I want to bring back memories of a friend gone but never forgotten.
And you, too, can do the same.
Perhaps not with a song… if that’s not your thing.
But you do have the ability to create art inside of you — I know you do.
And whether that’s through music… or painting…. or writing… or manipulating whatever medium resonates with you most… your art can become a source of light that heals your wounds and the wounds of others.
So unleash the screaming artist within and let them lead the way.
Because if you do, I promise you, they’ll transmute your pain away.
2) Rise up, speak out, and let your story heal the way
When Nick Vujicic was born, the delivery room went completely silent.
The doctor tried holding him just out of his mother’s sight, but his father had already caught a glance over the doctor’s shoulder.
Immediately, the baby was rushed out of the delivery room.
“What’s going on?” his mother asked.
Without a response, his father chased them out the door.
“What’s going on here?” he demanded, “My son has no arm?”
“No,” the doctor replied…
“Your son doesn’t have any arms… or legs.”
The doctor continued to apologize:
“We’re very sorry. He will never walk and he will never go to school and we’re sorry you didn’t have the opportunity to abort him before it was too late.”
Everyone was blindsided.
Back in the delivery room, the parents wept over the news.
“I wanna go see him,” his father insisted.
Moments later, he took the baby boy in his arms, looked at his son, and said…
“He’s beautiful.”
38 years later, Nick Vujicic (“voo-yi-chich”) is one of the most inspirational public speakers on the planet. He’s shared his story in front of 8.5 million people in 74 different countries. He’s a best-selling author, a father, a husband, a man of faith, and a remarkable human being.
Could he have been destroyed by the pain of never living a normal life?
Of course — and in many cases, he almost was.
But Nick never let his pain hold him back. In fact, he embraced it. He channelled it. And he alchemized it into something else.
He took his pain and transmuted it from darkness into light — and in the process, redefined what it means to be impossible.
And whether you believe it or not, your story can do the same.
The only catch is that you have to open up and share it.
And no, you don’t have to be a world-class public speaker to do so — there are many ways you can share your story.
Through a book… or a blog… or a video series… or a podcast.
It doesn’t matter.
But share it, you must.
Exactly as Nick does.
Because if you do, you’ll convert your pain into a glowing beacon of hope and light — and in the process, heal not only yourself, but also the wounds of many others.
The world deserves that healing.
YOU deserve that healing.
And it’s within your power to make it happen.
So rise up, speak out, and let your story heal the way
3) Transfer its lifeforce into something else
Before we move along any further, we need to address something.
And that something is energy.
According to Einstein (who I hear was a pretty smart dude)…
Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.
Which is fantastic news for anyone struggling with deeply rooted emotional pain. Why? Because that pain is an energy — and because that pain is an energy, it means that you can transmute it into something else.
Yes.
Your pain can become comfort.
Your pain can become healing.
And your pain can become a source of light.
See, there’s an inherent lifeforce in all of your emotions. If there wasn’t, you wouldn’t be able to feel them inside of you.
But that lifeforce is the same regardless of the emotion.
To better illustrate, imagine a glass of water.
Now, you can do many things with that water. You can make coffee with it. You can make juice with it. You can put it inside of a balloon and throw it at your wife when she least expects it. You can do a lot with water.
But even though you can use it in all these different ways, it’s still water.
That’s the inherent element.
Coffee, juice, water balloons, whatever— it’s all just water with a twist.
And it’s the same with your emotions.
Whether anger, resentment, jealousy, happiness, hope, joy, or sorrow — the energy that gives those emotions life never changes.
It’s all the same lifeforce… but with a twist.
So, how can you put this knowledge to practical use?
Here are a few suggestions — each offering a unique way for you to transfer the lifeforce of your pain into something else.
- Plant it into a garden. Channel your pain and transfer its lifeforce into the seeds and soil. You must be intentional with this. You’re going to ask that, as the plants grow, they draw from the lifeforce of your pain and transmute it into necessary energy for the plants to thrive.
- Build something with your hands. This can be a powerful way to transmute wasted energy. You’re going to channel your pain into something you build with your hands — and as you build it, request that your pain be transmuted into something beautiful.
- Move, express, unburden, and release. The power of expressive dance is undeniable. Channel the lifeforce of your pain into a full-body expression. Feel that energy come to life inside of you. Then, dance with the intention of transmuting that pain into healing.
By no means is this list exhaustive — there are many, many ways you can approach this. Get creative and find a way that’s most comfortable for you.
You’ll never be able to destroy your pain…
… but you can transfer its power into something else.
4) Hand it over to the unseen magic of the Universe
Imagine growing up with an abusive father — verbally, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Nothing you ever did was good enough for him… and you lived your entire life feeling like an abstract failure within his eyes.
He never appreciated you. He never encouraged you. And he never stood in your corner and supported you as you came into your own sense of individuality.
A very rocky road, to say the least.
Naturally, you suppressed that pain and buried it deep within — but throughout your entire life, you still tried to impress him… you still tried to get him to notice you… and you still tried to get him to finally say “Good job, kiddo. I’m proud of you.”
But the payoff never came.
Professionally, the pain never held you back, though. You forged ahead and assumed your role as a natural-born healer. One with powerful and intuitive gifts that could manipulate spiritual energy for the greater good.
Some would call you crazy — but your impact was undeniable.
You became revered as someone who could help others heal.
Over time, though, your own need for healing resurfaced — and after much research and deliberation, you found yourself deep within the jungles of Peru ready to experience the sacred plant medicine known as Ayahuasca.
Now, for those of you who don’t know, Ayahuasca is an ancient psychedelic plant-based brew that was (and still is) used for spiritual and religious purposes in the Amazon.
Anecdotal accounts suggest that even one experience with Ayahuasca can be the equivalent of a lifetime of psychological therapy — and your own experience certainly proved that to be true.
The moment you drank it, a whole new world opened up for you — and you were immediately cast into what can only be described as the spiritual realm beyond the veil.
And it was there that you met your father… but not your father as you know him. This was the source above your father. This was his higher-self — and the two of you had a conversation that changed your life forever.
He apologized for everything. He told you he should have known better. He told you he never meant to cause you pain. And he told you that even though, in this lifetime, his physical being would never understand or appreciate you… he wanted you to know that from higher above, that wasn’t the case.
He could see you from there. He was proud of you. And he admired immensely the remarkable person you’ve become.
And just like that, a pain you carried your entire life began to heal.
Did you actually meet your father that day?
Perhaps. And perhaps not.
But let me ask you this…
If in that moment, you were convinced that you actually spoke to your father’s higher-self… and in that conversation he told you everything you ever needed to hear… and because of that conversation a deeply-rooted source of pain and suffering began to heal…
… does it matter if it was actually real?
Does it matter if it was all just a fabrication of the mind?
I don’t think so.
Because if you actually experienced healing, then who cares.
Healing is healing and it’s always welcome — no matter how it’s disguised.
Now, just to be abundantly clear, I’m not suggesting you make your way to the jungle to drink a psychoactive brew… nor am I suggesting you hand yourself over without guidance to a psychedelic experience of any kind…
… these experiences are very serious and should never be taken lightly.
But what I am saying is that, with proper education, understanding, and guidance, these experiences can often lead to profound healing of deep emotional wounds. Many personal accounts have proven that to be true.
The fact is…
People have used psychedelics for ages as a means to meet their suffering head-on and purify it in the light of understanding — and through that process, transmute their pain into something that helps them heal.
You can’t deny that.
And if your own pain has become too much to bear… or you know that something buried deep within is holding you back from getting the most out of life… then perhaps it’s an option you need to explore.
Perhaps it’s time to let the unseen magic of the Universe lead the way.
5) Write the letter you’ve always wanted to receive
I’ve intentionally saved one of the most powerful methods for last.
Why? Because it takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage to do what I’m about to suggest — and to be completely honest, most people would never allow themselves to come this close to their source of suffering.
However, if you are able to follow through with this exercise, not only will you cast a light on the deepest corners of your soul… but you’ll also give yourself permission to change your relationship with your pain — thereby turning your most crippling weakness into your most formidable strength.
It takes a lot of guts to do this. Truly.
And it’s most certainly not for the faint of heart.
But I promise you, if you commit to the heart of this exercise, you’ll be able to heal your pain as deep as you can go — I want that for you.
Here’s what you need to do:
Grab and pen and paper and find a place to be alone.
Then, when you’re ready, I want you to start writing a letter to yourself from the person who hurt you. That’s right — you’re going to assume the role of the person who inflicted your wounds… and you’re going to speak to yourself as that person.
Now, in this letter, you’re going to write all of the things you’ve always wanted to hear from them. How they’re sorry… how they wish they could take all your pain away… how none of it was ever your fault… how what they did was wrong and should have never happened… how you never deserved to be the victim… how you never did anything wrong… how there was never anything wrong about you… how they wish they could go back and do things differently… how they should have never dishonored your heart and spirit…
… everything you’ve ever wanted to hear from them — and I mean everything — write it down in your letter.
It’s going to hurt.
You’re going to cry.
But you’ll also release.
You’ll unburden.
And most of all…
… you’ll transform.
When your letter is finally written and you’ve said everything you’ve wanted to say, fold it up, put it in an envelope, and send it to yourself in the mail. It doesn’t need to show who it’s from, but it needs to be addressed to you.
When it arrives, find a place to be alone, open it up, and read.
And as you read, set your intentions to purify and release every negative emotion that surfaces. Everything that bubbles up — notice it, recognize it, and ask it to leave. Surround it with light and let it go.
This is your chance to heal yourself.
This is your chance to mend your wounds.
This is your chance to take the destructive energies you’ve repressed for so long and finally give them permission to pass through you.
The letter might be one you’ve written yourself…
… but it symbolizes a desire to transmute your pain into something else.
And that desire is the key ingredient here. For when you mix that desire with pure and honest intention, you’ll always get what you’re looking for.
Remember:
Your pain won’t move unless you make it.
So take the time to write the letter you’ve always wanted — and in doing so, give yourself permission to lead your pain away.
Your pain will never be the same
Look at you — a true emotional alchemist.
Someone who intentionally transforms their pain into happiness and healing through a seemingly magical process.
What was once a source of suffering and sorrow…
… can now become a source of power and pride.
You have the tools to do this.
And you possess the strength to see it through — I believe in you.
You’ve been carrying this pain for so long that it’s become a part of your identity — and preparing to let it all go can be frightening, to say the least.
But you must let it go.
You must transform it.
And you must do everything in your power to turn that pain into something else.
Because guess what?
You don’t deserve to hurt. You don’t deserve to be immobilized by your suffering. And you don’t deserve to spend another second shackled down by the pain you’ve been carrying for so long.
What you deserve is happiness.
What you deserve is healing
And what you deserve is love.
So take this power you now possess and go transform your pain into a radiant light that inspires hope and guides the world.
That’s what an emotional alchemist does.
And today, that’s exactly who you’ve become.